I was getting dressed for services Sabbath morning when I noticed that what I was wearing in the moment was quite different from how I had been dressing lately. This made me realize how I wear different clothes to fit into different worlds. I think we all can relate to the idea of changing our appearance or mannerisms to fit the situation. This change may be even more pronounced or jarring when an individual lives and moves between two worlds, culturally, racially, or religiously.
Struggling with identity and fitting in can occur within many planes of an individual’s life, such as culture, tradition, religion, ethnicity, or race, and can make one feel as though they are being pulled in more than one direction. Speaking from my own experience, I believe that this circumstance provides both blessings and challenges. I love learning about both of the worlds I’m in, I love being able to integrate concepts from both to help me with creativity and growth, I love being provoked to think and question and learn. While there are parts of me that are pretty comfortable with this integrated identity, other parts of me are at unrest.
Someone who is struggling with cultural, racial, or religious identity may feel confused, out of place, guilty, or unsure. The relationship a person has with each of their self-sides will likely fluctuate throughout life, sometimes feeling more comfortable in or more attracted to one or the other. The challenge is accepting all parts of yourself and staying true to what is right for you. Know that all your parts have legitimacy, that you can make your own way and your own identity, that its okay to change and evolve, and its also okay to be unsure!
Eta Feuerman-Yaeger LCSW 